


John Watson Imparts Some Terribly Tragic News

by kyaticlikestea



Series: John Watson's Blog [4]
Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Blog, Crack, Humour, John Watson's Blog, John's blog, M/M, Post-Reichenbach
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-05-20
Updated: 2012-05-20
Packaged: 2017-11-05 17:05:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,214
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/408881
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kyaticlikestea/pseuds/kyaticlikestea
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>'Today’s blog is written in memory of my dearest friend and lover, Sherlock Holmes. It is my greatest sorrow to have to report to you all that he passed away in the early hours of this morning. It is surely the great loss I will ever be forced to bear. No longer will I be able to gaze upon those razor sharp cheekbones, run my hands through that perfect mane of ebony silk or kiss that darling cupid’s bow mouth. It truly has not yet sunk in that I am going to be forced to see through the remainder of my days without the love of my life.'</p><p>Or, in which John Watson learns to never leave his computer unattended. Or attended. It's fruitless, really.</p>
            </blockquote>





	John Watson Imparts Some Terribly Tragic News

**April 1st, 2015  
Sad, Sad News**

My loyal followers, 

Today’s blog is written in memory of my dearest friend and lover, Sherlock Holmes. It is my greatest sorrow to have to report to you all that he passed away in the early hours of this morning.

It is, as yet, unclear as to what has happened. All we are able to ascertain from the crime scene is that it was certainly murder. As to who would want to harm my Sherlock; this is something upon which Scotland Yard are still working.

I do not know how I will carry on after this. It is surely the great loss I will ever be forced to bear. No longer will I be able to gaze upon those razor sharp cheekbones, run my hands through that perfect mane of ebony silk or kiss that darling cupid’s bow mouth. It truly has not yet sunk in that I am going to be forced to see through the remainder of my days without the love of my life. 

While I sit here and type this sorrowful entry, my love lies on a cold slab in the morgue at St Bart’s. His ivory skin will have developed a cruel, Arctic pallor. His eyes that once saw all will now see only the end of all things. I will see only loneliness and solitude, stretching out into the vast expanse of infinity.

I request only your respect for my privacy and my condolences at this very distressing time. 

Yours, 

John Watson

PS you said you wanted me to write an April Fool’s post, hope this will do. Now maybe I can get back to analysing the soil from [name removed]’s murder! – SH

**40 comments**

JESUS CHRIST SHERLOCK HOLMES IF YOU EVER DO THIS TO ME AGAIN SO HELP ME I WILL  
 **Lestrade, April 1st, 14:23**

You are lucky I have remote access to Gregory’s computer, Sherlock. I’m not sure any continuation of that sentence would have been publishable. I am, of course, on my way to Baker St as I type this. Please expect me in ten minutes.  
 **Mycroft Holmes, April 1st, 14:26**

As _I_ type this, more like.  
 **Anthea?, April 1st, 14:27**

Oh my God, just when you thought the freak couldn’t get any freakier… April Fools’ jokes are meant to be FUNNY, FREAK.  
 **Sally Donovan, April 1st, 14:39**

Your concern moves me to my very core, Sgt. Donovan.  
 **Sherlock Holmes, April 1st, 14:41**

‘Ivory pallor’? ‘Mane of ebony silk’? Mate, when I first read this and didn’t know it was a joke (good one by the way Sherlock!!!!) I thought you were a right nutter lol  
 **Bill Murray, April 1st, 14:59**

THIS ISNT FUNny makigf fujn of my brothers emotION LIKE THIs YOU ARE THE FOOl sherlck!!!!  
 **Harry, April 1st, 15:03**

Only the three drinks for your liquid lunch, I see, Harry. Quite the improvement on yesterday’s seven.  
 **Sherlock Holmes, April 1st, 15:08**

Sherlock this was really beautifully written did you ever consider being a writer at any stage? I did a writing class once and the teacher really liked my piece about what if cats ruled the world xxxxx  
 **Molly Hooper, April 1st, 15:17**

PS I am glad this is just a joke xxxxx  
 **Molly Hooper, April 1st, 15:18**

you are all just jealous your inferior sense of humour does not permit you to comprehend the tricks of the master  
 **theimprobableone, April 1st, 15:34**

That’s definitely the case, you creep. It’s not like any of us were WORRIED or anything.  
 **Sally Donovan, April 1st, 15:42**

I mean, I wasn’t, obviously, but someone might have been  
 **Sally Donovan, April 1st, 15:44**

His brother reads this, you know  
 **Anderson, April 1st, 15:45**

Unfortunately for Sherlock, I do. Rest assured he shan’t be repeating this stunt.  
 **Mycroft Holmes, April 1st, 15:51**

That’s what you think, mummy.  
 **Sherlock Holmes, April 1st, 15:53**

Oh my God there’s two of them.  
 **Sally Donovan, April 1st, 15:57**

Oh my God there’s two of them ;)  
 **Anonymous, April 1st, 15:59**

Yes but one of them is a massive wanker  
 **Lestrade, April 1st, 16:02**

Lestrade, I am sure my brother will not appreciate you talking about him in such a way.  
 **Sherlock Holmes, April 1st, 16:07**

Are you actually playing ‘I know you are but what am I’? First you fake your own death, then you make a tit of yourself  
 **Anderson, April 1st, 16:13**

This all looks quite familiar!!!  
 **Sally Donovan, April 1st, 16:16**

Hello boys, it’s Mrs Hudson here, just to say that I’m glad you’re not dead Sherlock because you haven’t paid the rent this month and I don’t think poor John can afford it by himself on his doctor’s salary!! This is Mrs Hudson by the way  
 **Marie Turner, April 1st, 16:21**

Mrs Turner here, I’m pleased that you haven’t been murdered too, dear, Mrs Hudson would have had a right fit if you’d got blood all over the carpet, she just re-upholstered everything in your room, love Mrs Turner  
 **Mrs Hudson, April 1st, 17:04**

It’s all right, I have a housekeeper for that of thing. Oh, silly me, it’s Mrs Hudson.  
 **Sherlock Holmes, April 1st, 17:13**

I AM NOT YOUR HOUSEKEEPER SHERLOCK! HOW DO I MAKE THESE LETTERS SMALL AGAIn oh never mind  
 **Marie Turner, April 1st, 17:19**

This is Mrs Hudson by the way although Mrs Turner is not your housekeeper either  
 **Marie Turner, April 1st, 17:21**

I don’t really like how this is becoming a bit rude, shall we all just move on from it xxxxxx  
 **Molly Hooper, April 1st, 18:00**

I agree, Molly!! This is all getting childish  
 **Mike Stamford, April 1st, 18:08**

Where’s the fun in that?  
 **Anderson, April 1st, 18:10**

Sally, you’re drawing attention to where you clearly believe the fun is to be found. I suggest you leave before all your sexual liaisons gradually reveal themselves in this corner of the internet.  
 **Sherlock Holmes, April 1st, 18:14**

How do you know it’s Sally? This could be Anderson for all you know you plonker!  
 **Sally Donovan, April 1st, 18:18**

I doubt Anderson can spell ‘fun’.  
 **Sherlock Holmes, April 1st, 18:22**

Jesus… I leave you alone for one day, Sherlock. One bloody day and you’ve caused World War Three. Sorry, everyone. I’ll take him away now. Put him in time out or something while I lament my awful taste in men. I’m honestly sorry. If any of you were upset by this, I can only apologise.  
 **John Watson, April 1st, 18:38**

I was upset by the fact it turned out not to be true.  
 **Sally Donovan, April 1st, 18:45**

Me too.  
 **Sally Donovan, April 1st, 18:47**

I got a back massage out of it so itse’rof OK Sherck dntw woortyyyyyyyyyy ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,  
 **Lestrade, April 1st, 19:03**

Anthea here on behalf of Mr M. Holmes, wondering if Sherlock and John could disable the webcam feed they’ve set up to Mr Lestrade’s kitchen, thanks.  
 **Mycroft Holmes, April 1st, 19:11**

quickwelty paser  
 **Lestrade, April 1st, 19:18**

I can see I’m going to have to close the comments again.  
 **John Watson, April 1st, 19:24**


End file.
